


Good For You

by ozeankins



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: ANXIETY ATTACK!!!, Be More Chill - Freeform, CAUUTIOUS PLS, Forgive Me, Michael in the Bathroom, also michael has his anxiety attack outside the bathroom, and it kinda just sparked the idea that michael feels like connor after jeremy called him a loser, and the fact that connor killed himself in deh, because michaels panic attack in the bathroom, boyf riends - Freeform, dear evan hansen - Freeform, good for you, haha why do i make myself suffer like this?, he says he could disappear and no one will care or notice, i am michael, i love michael, im not good at writing, no one will know, totally based off of good for you from deh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2019-02-07 00:58:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12829908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ozeankins/pseuds/ozeankins
Summary: After Jeremy said words he couldn't take back, what happens if Michael has had enough of the situation? What happens when Michael has enough of Jeremy? What if Michael makes Jeremy /choose./  !! WARNING: ANXIETY ATTACK !!





	Good For You

**Author's Note:**

> This is for the Good For You - BMC/DEH animations I've seen on youtube. This is also like my first time writing in a while so, forgive my incorrect grammar.

        "Get out of my way, **_loser_**." Jeremy snarled, pushing Michael against the bathtub swiftly before walking out of the room. Michael stood there - hands gripping the tub tightly. His eyes stared blankly at the floor, and his mind was running like a broken record. _loser, loser, loser_  repeated in his head. His thoughts began to fuzz, and eyes began to itch. Michael couldn't understand any of this. He couldn't understand how a small pill was able to change his entire view of life. He couldn't understand how a pill could make his best friend of _twelve years_ push him away like he was  _nothing_. His hands began to shake. Tears began to jerk out of his eyes, streaming down like a untamed river. Michael was so lost in thought until a few hurried knocks snapped him back to life. 

        "Hello?" echoed through the door, with the 'o' being dragged out. "Other people have to pee!" Jenna exclaims with more hurried knocks. Michael perks up and nods as if she can see him.

        "I-I'll.." He began. "H-having _my period_!" 

        "Oh.. Take your time, honey."

        With that, Michael was alone again. He felt his face sting, and he began to hyperventilate. Before his mind could function, his body was already walking towards the door. His hand was already turning the door knob. Michael could feel the eyes stab through him, and hear the laughter die down. The room began to grow darker, bigger, and longer. He felt so far away from Jeremy. Michael's hair began to cling to each-other, due to the massive amount of sweat he was producing.

        "J-Jeremy!" Michael shouted, gasping for air. "Jeremy Heere!" He yelled again as the room started spinning. Jeremy stopped, turning around and looking at him. As Michael grew closer to Jeremy, his chest started hurting, as if his heart was ripped out.

        "Leave me alone, Michael."

        "N-No." Michael grabbed onto Jeremy's costume, clenching tightly. "Is it good? I-is it giving you a world.. Is it giving you f-friendships that I c-could _never_ provide?"

        "What..?" Jeremy's eyes widened, his brows furrowing.

        "I g-guess this side of life is just b-better than me, huh?" Michael said in a panic. "You g-got a taste of a l-life so fucking perfect, so you did w-what you had to do?" The room began to shrink rapidly, and his fists clenched tighter. All his emotions were spilling out. His words were unfiltered. "I hope y-you're proud of y-your big 'decision,' and I hope i-it's all that you want and m-more." He took a deep breath. The tears began to feel like burns, running down the skin. "I'm _sorry_ th-that you had it so fu-fucking rough. And I'm s-sorry I'm not _e-enough_ for t-this new you." Breathing was getting harder - painful, even. 

        "Michael, just go _home_." Suddenly, Michael snapped- slamming his fists against his friend's chest. Each hit was getting harder. Everyone's eyes were glued to Jeremy and Michael. 

        "Say wh-what you need to sa-say to make me l-leave. P-Play me l-like a fu-fucking game." He yelled, his eyes glued shut. "A-And since I'm in your way, fucking c-crush me and _leave me the fuck behind_." Jeremy grabbed his wrists, gripping them harshly. 

        "Stop this, _please_." He begged. "Go home, stop making a scene." Jeremy's hands began to shake. 

        "Do you wish I j-just stayed home? Watching cable porn?" Michael sneered. Jeremy blinked, refusing to respond to him. "O-or do you wish I offed my-myself? wish I was never born?" He screeched. Michael wished all that. Without Jeremy, he was nothing but a bother. "Since I'm just M-Michael who's a loner, so he must be a stoner." He shook his arms aggressively to get out of Jeremy's grip.  More tears were pouring out of his eyes. "He rides a PT Cruiser..."

        "M-Michael-"

        "God he's such a _loser_!" Michael shouted, mocking the way Jeremy said it.

        "Michael!"

        "Choose!" He choked out, breaking free from Jeremy's grasp - just to slam his fists back down on his chest. He grew weaker. "Just choose."

        "I don't... I don't understand." Jeremy's voice shook. His squip wasn't active to control what he was doing or saying. He needed aid. He didn't know what to do.

        "Fucking choose, Jeremy! It's not hard to decide between me, or your stupid squip." His head leaned against Jeremy's chest. 

        "All I need is some time to think." Michael's eyes widened, and he pushed himself away from Jeremy. "I just need to think, Micha."

        " _Don't_."

        "What?"

        "Don't call me Micha. It's clear who you choose. Hope you find a newer, and cooler version of me." 

        Jeremy's mind began to spin. He felt sick. He could feel his squip talking to him, convincing him that listening to the squip was the only solution out of this.  _**Stop it.**_ Jeremy thought. **_Stop it. Stop it. Stop it._** His squip continued to speak. Jeremy's mind felt like a huge glitch. Michael had turned away from him, and started making his way to the stairs. _**Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.**_ Michael was moving out of reach. All Jeremy wanted to do was call out to Michael. He just wanted to grab his best friend, apologize and rip this stupid computer out of his head. **_Stop it. Stop it. Stop it._** Jeremy was running out of time. The alcohol wasn't super strong, the squip was gaining control again. Jeremy deep down didn't want this to be this way. Jeremy didn't want to leave Michael alone. Jeremy didn't want Michael feeling like he did before the squip. He wanted to be cool, wanted, noticed. He wanted to not be the loser. He wanted everyone to be happy. He wanted Michael to be happy. He wanted Michael. **_Stop it. Stop it. Stop it._** The squip started messing with his head. 

        _ **Just let me go.**_

**Author's Note:**

> I attempted. If you guys,, want me to continue writing or have CONSTRUCTIVE criticism ,, comment!! I'll be sure to respond :)


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